Otters Love Lettuce, Right?
by Stor-E-Phool
Summary: Ollie the Otter has a new assignment: two feindish geniuses that wrek havoc in a different way everyday in the tristate area. But one thing stands in his way from obliterating his two nemeses; the well-known and esteemed secret Agent...Perry the Platypus!
1. Chapter 1

**Otters Love Lettuce, Right?**

**_By Stor-E-Phool_**

The sun was setting silently, seeming to soak into the hillside as Ollie the Otter leaned against the slouching willow tree. He stared fixedly down the lane and into the still parking lot of the traditionally yellow suburban house.

Ever since the sun had come up that morning they'd been in the backyard. Two boys; one with flaming red hair and the other with hair the color of freshly-cut grass. They did the unimaginable as Ollie watched. All they had done in the passing hours of that day was build lasers, rockets, nuclear-powered generators and ice cream machines. An amazing feat accomplished by two little boys just over twelve years of age. They were brilliant. They were resourceful. They were dangerous.

And they were also Ollie's assignment.

Numbly, he watched as their inventions were swept away in a whirlwind just as a little red van pulled into the long-vacant driveway. Ollie frowned and watched as the whirlwind lifted into the sky the products of his nemesis' genius. A helicopter spun out of control in the sky as a mad-looking man cursed from it's cockpit. The shadowed shape of a platypus lept from the landing gear and parachuted to the tall tree in the backyard. In no time, Agent P had, again, become just plain Perry at the feet of his masters.

Platypi. Ollie hated them.

Especially the Perry kind. Throughout all of Ollie's observances Perry the Platypus had never once put his flipper down on his own sinister owners. Dispicable. Discusting. _Platypi_.

Ollie readjusted his cap and pushed away from the willow he'd been leaning on. Tomorrow he would bust 'em. Phineas and Ferb... his nemeses... his assignment... his prey.

**_A/N: Yeah. Fascinating beyond all reason. I know. _**

**_Ha! Really I just had to figure out a story for the great title! Those are hard to come across these days, really! Lol._**

**_Love,_**

**_Stor-E-Phool_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Otters Love Lettuce, Right?**

**_By Stor-E-Phool_**

Perry knew someone was watching him.

He plummeted toward the earth with his usual platyputic gusto and swept off his agent hat as he plunged into the leaves of the tree. He shivered as he crawled to the ground and looked up instinctively.

He saw an otter.

He blinked in surprise, then squinted his eyes at the willow tree. Or was it? He saw nothing there now.

Perry shrugged and was picked up by Ferb, who was silent as always, and carried into the house.

Ollie the otter peeped his head from the bushes. That was so close. The platypus almost saw him. Good thing he was so clueless.

Quietly, Ollie the otter leaped the fence to the backyard. He knew there was an agency entrance around here somewhere...

There was a soft tap on Ollie's shoulder and he turned only to recieve a powerful fist in the snout. He reeled backward into the side paneling to the house.

"Hey, Ferb, did you hear that?" came a muted voice from the boy's bedroom. Ollie rubbed his throbbing nose and looked up at his attacker. He gasped.

Before him was the shape of a platypus, silouetted by the streetlamp. How had Perry known?

"Yeah, it sounded like a big 'WHAMMM!' on the outside of the house right here, Mom." Voices around the corner. Instantly, Ollie and Perry both removed their disguises like lightening. Just in time, too, because the whole Fletcher household came into vision around the corner of the house.

"Oh, hey, Perry. Who's your friend?" The redheaded boy asked the platypus, then looked Ollie full-on. "Oh, cool! An otter!"

"A _Pteronura brasiliensis_, to be exact," remarked Ferb, blinking, "Or, in other words, a giant otter."

"Cool!" said Phineas, picking Ollie up by the middle, "We could call him Goliath, then." Ollie nearly gagged. The boy had large, innocent-looking eyes. He thought he could get off of the hook by playing the dumb kid card, eh? But Ollie knew what his sinister mind was capable of.

"You make it sound like we're _keeping _it, Phineas dear." chuckled the mother of the boys wryly. She was evil, too. Ollie could feel it radiating from her very skin.

"What a great idea, Mom!" exclaimed Phineas, swinging Ollie into his mother's face, "Can we keep him?"

"...Talk to your father." Ollie was instantly swung into the stressed-looking face of a middle-aged man.

"Oh, I don't know."

"Pleeeaassse?" begged the boy, eyes watering pitifully.

"Weeell...I guess Perry would like a friend..."

"YAY!" Cried Phineas, high-fiving Ferb, "We get to keep Goliath!"

"IF," Said Mr. Fletcher, "you find a better name than _Goliath."_

_"..._He looks more like an Ollie to me..." Muttered Ferb, eyeing the otter.

"YAY!" Cried Phineas again, "We get to keep Ollie!" He and his brother skipped back into the house, happiness in each step.

Perry just sighed and clicked angrily.

**_A/N: Yeah. Second chapter was rushed and very undescriptive. But I had to get the story settings down or I'd murder something. This chapter was yucky, but I hope you stay with me!_**

**_Love,_**

**_Stor-E-Phool_**


	3. Chapter 3

**Otters Love Lettuce, Right?**

**_By Stor-E-Phool_**

Ollie hated every minute spent in that house that night.

First of all, he had to play cars, which is humiliating enough normally, but with his nemeses? Torture.

Not to mention that Perry sat idly by, taking it in as the boys zoomed their Hot Wheels cars up and down Ollie's back and tail, using him as a ramp. Ollie couldn't move. They had placed jaks around him as traps for the cars. Or that was the cover plan in case the animal police came in, anyway.

Now. Second of all. Mr. Flynn decided to remember that he still had some left-over Otter-O's from his _last_ otter in London 20 years ago. You can just imagine that mess. Oddly enough, off-brand foreign exotic pet food covered in mildew from two decades ago is not quite the most appetizing meal, even for Ollie. And he had quite a strong stomach.

Third of all? He was Phineas' stuffed animal. The boy took Ollie to bed with him. And was a restless sleeper. Ollie was lucky he was even alive by the morning.

As soon as the boy's grip loosened on Ollie as the dawn's light streamed in through the curtain, the otter lept from the bed. Naturally, he landed on all fours, cap on head. Ollie crept to the vent and knocked twice. The shutters of the vent slammed open and apart, and a gust of wind ushered Ollie into the dark tunnel and down a plastic tube. He whisked through the multiple shafts and landed smoothly in the briefing room, about 50 feet under the ground.

A slim green figure stood next to the swivel chair in front of the large moniter. Perry.

Ollie glared piercingly the Platypus. Up before four? Suck-up much? At the side of his eye Ollie caught a flash of light as the briefing monitor flickered on.

"Oh, there you both are. On time as usual." Grunted Major Monogram, adjusting his collar.

"_Some_ more on time than _others_, sir." Came a nasally voice off screen, followed by an equally nasally snicker. Ollie rolled his eyes.

"Ahem. Well. I wasn't going to say anything, Carl." He replied, then turned to Perry, clearing his throat. "Agent P, we've just received intell that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks again, purchasing massive amounts of rope, iron and honey mustard glaze. Find out what he's planning, and stop him." Perry nodded, lifting his arm into a salute as he was sucked into a departure tube.

"Agent Zero, I've been told you have moved residency into your nemeses' lair." Ollie lowered his head in shame. He had known this was coming. "Excellent work, Agent Zero. Superb. Keep up with your stopping of Evil." Ollie looked up in surprise. He beamed and saluted.

"Uh, sir?" came Carl's voice again, "You know his codename _isn't_ Agent Zero, right?"

"_Carl! _How many times have I told you _not_ to talk on my air time?!" growled the Major angrily.

"This would be the eighty-second time, sir." The bickering continued as Ollie the Otter dismissed himself.

Maybe he would stay in the Flynn-Fletcher house for a couple more days... but only until he'd foiled their evil plans, of couse.

**A/N: Okay. So. I've figured about six chapters in this fic from beginning to end. It's just supposed to be like an extended episode of Phineas and Ferb, with a mild serious tone. It's cute and fun, right? Lol. So. Personally, I think that they should put Ollie the Otter into the show. He'd fit so well; competing with Perry the Platypus against Evil. Teaming up a bit with Candace to bust Phineas and Ferb. Just pure Funness! Lol.**

**Well. I also wanted to share with you a strange dream I had about Phineas and Ferb. I dreamed that when Candace was little, she was just as clever and fun-loving as Phineas. Her mom was always trying to "bust" Candace to Mr. Flynn-Fletcher because of all the weird stuff she would build while he was at work. And Jeremy was always asking the familiar "What'cha doin'?" to Candace, and Major Monogram was his father!!!!**

**Wow. Weird right? But fun. :) Tell me what you think!**

**Love,**

**Stor-E-Phool**


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